The X’s & O’s of Dating – Part 1
I’ve always looked at football as more than a game. It’s a physical competition that can only be won with a strategic gameplan, execution, raw talent, and team effort. A man can learn a lot from the game of football. Even better, the lessons learned from football can be applied to dating. In fact, I never really understood women or dating until I started seeing both as the game of football.
Okay, maybe I am a bit of a football nerd who overthinks, or perhaps I’m a philosophical genus who just created the newest life hack by operating my dating life similar to an NFL franchise. Either way, I’ve experienced some success that I want to share with men who love football and want to improve their dating lives with the ladies.
Women Run The Game
Understand this; dating is a woman’s game. Initially, they have all the power in the world of romance, and most of what we do as men is to impress them and find a place on their roster. Just as a player must perform well in practice and on the field to make an NFL roster, a man who’s trying to impress a woman must also perform well. This is the phase where he wines & dines a woman, sends texts, calls her, and makes other romantic gestures to let her know he wants her.
The good news is that this step is essential to the later part of the game when a player transitions from the field to the front office. The front office is where the man has the power, and women seek to impress him to find a spot in his franchise. This phase of the game begins when a man has matured and found value in his life. His purpose and specific goals are more important than women and the amount of sex he has.
Understand The Type of Player You Are
Peyton Manning and Lamar Jackson are two MVP-winning quarterbacks with entirely different playing styles. Can you imagine if the run-pass option was a regular go-to play in Peyton Manning’s offensive playbook? He would have been run down by defensive linemen twice his size.
Many gurus and relationship experts teach men a one size fits all approach to dating that includes a laundry list of lame, fraudulent attributes men should possess. These blanket attributes produce little to no result.
Your success as a player in the dating game is heavily predicated on your ability to communicate, seduce, and lead. Next, you need to understand that there is no perfect way to attract women. Sometimes it’s your sense of humor; other times, it’s your wallet and your ability to provide security, sometimes it’s your looks, and sometimes it’s what your packing below the belt. Whatever it is, you must identify it and continue to build upon it just as an offense builds around it’s most talented player.
Oh yeah–being a bachelor is in the dating game is all about offense and your ability to score points. A woman’s defense represents the tactics she uses, which stop you from reaching the endzone. Think the chase, or her playing hard to get.
Understand Your Place On Her Team
Gentlemen, I hate to bring this to you, but we’ve (men) been fooled. For decades men have been under the assumption that they were the ones with multiple options to select from. And while many men have options, they don’t have nearly as many options as women do. A man manages his options with his attention, time, and money. But a woman can manage her options with little to no effort at all.
This should cause you to take a long hard look at where you are on her roster. Are you the franchise player, a solid starter, backup, on the practice squad, a highly touted draft pick, or an undrafted free agent? Knowing where you stand allows you to set realistic expectations for her. Too far down on the depth-chart, she’ll release you without hesitation. However, if you’re high up on the depth chart; she’ll make accommodations to keep you satisfied. I’m aware that many men don’t want to be honest and give a woman this power over them. Take comfort in knowing this space is only temporary. There’ll come a time when you call the shots. But while you’re playing the game from the field, learn as much as you can. It’ll be worth it once you move to the front office.
Now that you’ve decided what type of player you are in the dating game, and you’ve identified where you are on her roster, it’s time to play. However, before you get started, I have one sound piece of advice you should be aware of. Going to the gym, listening to podcasts, reading blogs, books, and consuming hours of dating content is fine and dandy, but it’s only practice. And the real world will look very different from the one you’re preparing for. The actual game doesn’t officially start until you begin meeting and expressing interest in women you’re really into. That’s when all the material you’ve been reading, watching, and listening to will be put to the test.
In the end, a pro football player won’t be rewarded a max contract based on how he performs in practice, but by how he performs on Sunday’s when it matters most. Keep that analogy in mind as you’re trying to improve your dating life. Good luck, and may the best man win.
The post appeared first on .
